||[Mar. 27th, 2008|03:49 pm]
Everytime I get on here I always want to delete everything I've written before. I feel like I've gone through so many phases in the past 6 years its ridiculous. Honestly once a year I think I feel like an entirely different person. The one I regret the most is the creepy religious stage, because I never felt like a real person, like with my own thoughts and beliefs and whatever.
I think the reason I've been thinking about it so much lately is because I've been doing an oncology clinical all semester. I had part of it at Akron Children's hospital and the other half is an adult cancer floor. At least with the adults, you can think to yourself that they've lived a good life. They've gotten married, had kids, did things that they loved. Some of the patients I have are younger than my parents. One day out of nowhere they find out that they only have a few months to live. Life is just so..transitory. One of my patients was actively dying and he was terrified. He just wanted someone to be with him, to rub his back and hold his hand and help him process it all. what do you say to someone in his situation? I'm not trying to be cliche and get all carpe diem, I don't even know if i'm trying to make a point about anything.